Please Santa... Don't be a Dick
So here we are, another goddardamn christmas. Whatever, this is like my 157th. Christmas has changed alot but so have I. I should be worm food but I aquired awesome mutant powers when I witnessed the explosion of the first hydrogen bomb (http://220.127.116.11/dynamic/images/stories/personalities/dick_goddard.html). The government turned me into their own little cyber science project, Project G.
Back when I was young, little wooden horses on wheels used to be the shit. One of my favorite gifts as a child back in 1860, was cup with a ball on a string, hours of fun for my pre-cyborg brain. People were stupid back then. Anyway, I guess i'm just just trying to come up with a segway into posting my Christmas wish list.
1. A piece of Wilma Smith's sweet, sweet ass (I've been jonesin' for some of that action since the mid 1970's, come on Santa!).
2. A big assed karyoke machine.
3. A diamond and platnum grill for my teeth so I can look tough as those scary black guys.
4. Some new porn.
5. Some of those spinny wheel thingies for my ride.
6. A giant box full of tasty D Cell batteries.
7. George Bush's giant balls.
8. A Tyco Supercross race set with glow in the dark track.
9. The blood of seven babies.
10. Some new slutty interns at work for me to moles... I mean mentor.
Thanks, Santa for answering last year's christmas wish #4, banging Paula Abdul.