Oh My Goddard: Where's That Dick Been?

Oh My Goddard

Hi my name is Dick, I'm a Mecha-Meterologist, Hero to Canines, Cyborg Love Machine, Warrior Poet, Libra, Decorated War Vet, Singer/Songwriter, Statatician for the Cleveland Browns and All Around Bad Ass Mutha.

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Location: Cleveland, Ohio, United States

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Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Where's That Dick Been?

Hello my little Woollybears and Woolybearettes. Uncle Dick finally entered the blogosphere. Actually I've been here all along. I created it one day just by thinking about it. That's one of the great things about being a cyborg, you don't even have to type. My left nipple is a firewire2 port and my right nipple is goddard damned sexy.
If your not familar with old Uncle Dick then you either live in a cave in some backtarded middle eastern country or maybe you have been hooked up to some kind of life support machine for most of your sad life. If that's the case you should look into cybergenetics but you'll still never be as awesome as me. Pass me the WD-40, ladies. Well, where was I? 001010001000100010110100101010100010101010101010100100110110100010010. Sorry about that I get all mixed up sometimes, I can communicate in over 6,000,000 languages and little power surges trip me up while I'm recharging. Ohio Edison you are one tasty, sexy little devil. Oh yeah I'm Dick Goddard and I control most of northeast ohio and several small countries in Asia. I run this Goddard damn town and if you can't except that, you will be eliminated. Using just a small part of my advanced mind I could fry you like a piece of bacon - right through your second-rate keyboard. A chilling thought ain't it. Sorry, there goes my crazy appetite for world domination again. I was just kidding... or was I? 00101000. Ok, let's be friends. Old Unckle Dickkie wouldn't hurt a fly (legal bot.V1.5.2 made me say that).
I've been very busy lately. but I took some time away from controling global weather patterns this past summer and put some serious studio hours in with my old pal, Michael Stanley. The album won't be out until after the holidays but it is pure balls to the walls rock and goddard damned roll. I'm going to call him today and tell him that's what we're naming the album. And just because I don't hate you here's a little ballard I wrote that starts out one of the heaviest songs on the albumits called "Enemy Mine":

he felt it shake
he saw it crack
i owe my life
to utah jack

my blistered hands
my broken back
coughing up
that evil black

walk the line
walk the line
i’m living on
borrowed time

how can i stay
no sun today
my brand new pick
cost a’half week pay

the company store
the company store
every week’s
a nickel more

walk the line
walk the line
i’m living on
borrowed time

a baby boy
my pretty wife
they get me through
this dirty life

00101000101 010101010,
The Big G

3 Comments:

Blogger Adrian H smyth said...

I SURCH AND THEN BOOM SHAKA LAKA
GOOD STUFF

9:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fucking hilarious!

9:41 PM  
Anonymous Carlijn said...

Hi there,

For a Dutch non-commercial book project called the Enhanced Human I am searching for pictures that have anything to do with our subject. In doing so I found this picture (http://pdngallery.com/contests/pixdigital/2001/images/kothari/cyborg.jpg) on your profile. I would very much like to use the picture in our book and therefore I am asking your permission to use it.

You can send me an e-mail you'd like -> c.b.b.dohmen @ uvt.nl

Thank you very much in advance

4:54 AM  

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